drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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