I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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