what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Randomize
