I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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