Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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