i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
