I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
