he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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