Tell her she can't have a vagina
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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