Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
barbara walters just said penis...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
