They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
