is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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