we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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