I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my vag is so smooth its legendary
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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