hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he wants to bone in the snuggie
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
