is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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