Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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