Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
