Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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