All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
