I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
How external is "for external use only"?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize