Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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