when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
