So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
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Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.