I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.