We won't sleep together?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch