Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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