just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize