I should be sponsored by Trojan
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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