and you said cock pushups were impossible
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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