You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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