I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
