??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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