I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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