Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
