If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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