I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
