i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
