i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
