thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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