I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize