The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i think my cat just said my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize