is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
