you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
