I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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