hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
