i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
