you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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