I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
