I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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