I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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