white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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