i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
