Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
