I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
