clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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