T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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