I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
