if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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