please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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