you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
