The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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