someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
