I'm really into asian looking animals
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
